Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My pussy is not your playground.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
