the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize