I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
COCAINE IS GR8
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
