Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
