the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize