Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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