I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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