Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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