; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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