it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
