I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
