their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
