I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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