me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
