My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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