areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
