If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
