I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
