eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
