I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize