That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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