How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
