okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Slut skills are useful in every country.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize