come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
