You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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