its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
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