they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
