there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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