good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
