hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
