you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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