I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
