Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
