I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
