So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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