i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
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