Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
