PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
