Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
