Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
