In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
