It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
