Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize