I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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