I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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