its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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