if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We need to get me chipped asap
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