If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
