Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
