i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
