so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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