dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
