I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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