dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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