Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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