they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
