Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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