Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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