What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
