I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
