Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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