I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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